Where I Belong
by madamada-chan
Summary: S2 JowyxHero The circlet around the hero's forehead is a clue to his true identity. He then goes on a journey with Jowy and Nanami, and along the way he discovers things not just about himself... but a bond growing deeper between him and his best friend
1. Prologue

**Disclaimers:** If Suikoden 2 was mine, the story would never end because even until now I'm still hooked to it. O_o;;

**A/N:** It's been… what, four years!? That long since I last played this game and this fanfic idea kept screaming "WRITE ME!!!" And now my obsession is back! Thanks to the help of some doujinshi and fanfics, I finally got the inspiration to get this started. But since I haven't even touched the game for quite some time, please forgive errors on the details, particularly the names (of people/places etc…) ^^;; 

**Pairing:** Jowy x Hero of course! =^___^= :: Hero is named Kenji. (that was what I named him in the game anyway. Can anyone tell me what his real name is? If he has one… ~_~;;)

**Written in Kenji's POV. **

**Warnings: **This is _shounen ai_ and might contain _yaoi_ in later chapters. O_o;; Don't know? Find out! Don't like? Don't read! Also, this story starts out with my version of the good ending, hence some alterations may be present. I haven't seen it yet, but I've read **spoilers**. So to those who don't want spoilers, skip the prologue. It's not that vital to understand the story anyway because this fic is mainly focused on how the characters move on after the war. ^_~ 

And lastly… (yes, I'll shut up already after this ;;) English isn't my first language, so watch out for my horrible grammar.

My… what terribly long author's notes I write. The potential readers must've fallen asleep. 

Still awake? Enjoy! =^^=

~*~*~*~

**~*~ Where I Belong ~*~**

Prologue 

     A lot of things have changed. The war's over but everything isn't exactly 'back to normal'. Nothing will ever be. But at least, the tranquility that the people used to enjoy before Luca Blight came to power is back. 

     Everyone, especially the women and children, can now freely walk around and travel to other towns without fear of being caught and turned to slaves or kept captive in dark and stinky prisons… or worse, slaughtered. They can sleep well at night, without the tingling fear at the back of their heads that Highland soldiers might suddenly foray and burn their houses to the ground, happily killing random bodies they come across in the process.

      This peace we get to relish now is something so many people joined hands together and fought for… died for. And for us who remained to see this dawn of a new era, it's our responsibility to learn from mistakes of the past and make sure history doesn't repeat itself. 

     But I have to admit that even after all that I've been through, it's not that easy to move on when you're the one left behind. Especially if the person who's gone happens to be the only family you have left. 

     The only people I've known to be my family are both gone. I've never known who my real blood relatives are. And Nanami… She died right in front of my eyes, in my arms. But even to her last breath, she never failed to remind me that we were a family tied deeper than blood. All she wanted was for me to call her to call her 'Big Sister'… even just one last time. 

     And since Grandpa Genkaku died a year before Jowy and I joined the Unicorn Brigade and this whole war started, now I'm all alone. 

     Jowy… Well, he's also part of the family I've come to know. He was my best friend and we've been together for as far back as I can remember. Those who knew us always labeled us to be the inseparable duo. So I guess I got too used to having him by my side that I couldn't accept it when he left. I still don't.

     Call it blind faith, but even after all that has happened, I'm still hoping that one day we'll be together again. I won't say 'like the good old days' because like I said, nothing will ever be like it used to. But at least I just want to be with him again. 

     After all… he's the only one I'd ever want to share the rest of my life with. Every single moment of it…

~*~*~*~

     I hate mornings. I couldn't sleep last night so I stayed in the rooftop for hours looking up at the stars, lost in my own world. I was happy to go back to my room when I first yawned, thinking that that was finally a sign of sleepiness. But then I tossed and turned in my bed yet didn't fall asleep at all. I was tempted to bang my head on the wall to knock myself out just to get some sleep but then if Shu found out he'd give me not just sleep but eternal rest. 

     And just when I thought I was starting to doze off, stupid rays of the sun had to wake me up. Right, remind me to replace the glass window with a brick wall next time I lack sleep. 

     No use trying to steal a five-more-minutes sleep now. Soon, Shu would probably come and call me for breakfast.

     "Lord Kenji?" Shu's voice resounds from the other side of the door after a couple of swift knocks. "Are you awake?"

     I hate it when I'm right.

     "Coming!" I might as well get up now and go down for breakfast.

      I have the feeling I'll need a lot of coffee to survive today.

~*~*~*~

     Leona's bar is probably the noisiest place in this entire castle. It's always bustling and full of life, with people happily chattering from all corners of the huge room. Victor and Flik are sharing the table with us, and that doesn't help lessen the deafening volume of this place at all. But I guess even this doesn't help me forget that I'm still very, very sleepy.    

     "Lord Kenji… are you really sure you're all right? You look rather tired." Shu asks again from across the table when I yawned for the fifth time. He's looking at me intently with an impassive expression but a glint of concern in his eyes. 

     "You look like you didn't get any sleep at all, kid." Victor comments from beside me, playfully putting an arm around my shoulder. 

     "You stayed up on the roof all night again?" Flik, who's sitting at my other side, asks so casually that it made me jump.

    "How'd you know about that!?" The question sort of just burst out of my mouth.

     "Heh. I see you there all the time whenever it's my turn to do patrolling at night."  He tells me, oblivious to the disapproving look that appeared in Shu's usually solemn face.

     Great. Now Shu'll probably tell me never to go up there again. And that's the only place where I can be alone and just think about anything. 

     Like Jowy… 

     My mind's been drifting to him a lot lately… I guess I really miss him that much. I'd give anything for us to be together again. If only I could be given the chance to see him again, be with him again. I'll…

     "Lord Kenji, are you listening?" The note of mild anger in Shu's slightly raised voice and Victor's mild shaking of my shoulders startles me out of my thoughts.

     "Ye… yes? You were saying?" I carelessly stammer. 

     He sighs disappointedly.

     "I was just telling you how dangerous it is to stay at the rooftop. It's not just risky because you might fall, but also because you're still young and your resistance to illness is quite weak. You might get colds for staying up there too long." 

     "But… but…" 

     Shu raises his right hand to stop me before I can argue. "I'm not going to forbid you from going up there." 

     He knows me too well. 

     "But I'll ask you to be careful. And please go back to your room if it gets too cold, unless you're wearing something thicker than those usual clothes of yours." He adds with a fatherly smile. "Anyway, please go and get changed after you finish your meal. The inductions ceremony will commence today at noon."

     "Oh! That's right!!! Today we finally announce to the world who the great leader of the noble army that defeated Highland is! And he's sitting right beside me! Everyone, let's have a toast to our Lord Kenji!!!" Victor- who's drunk now by the way and looking really stupid with his face all red- announces on the top of his lungs, making everyone look to the direction of our table. 

     "Victor… shut up…" I can feel myself shrinking in my chair and my cheeks seem to be getting warmer. 

     "CHEERS!!!" My head shoots up as soon as I hear their simultaneous cry. When I look around the room, every single mug was held up.

     "Everyone…" I could feel my lips curving upwards into what may well be my very first smile since Nanami died.

~*~*~*~

     With the kind of silence that engulfed the Meeting Room where we used to discuss battle tactics, no one from outside would think that the entire population living in the castle is in this single room. 

     "We are all gathered here today to witness the beginning of a new history. For this day, we shall pledge our loyalty to someone whom we see fit to be our next leader. He had led us to victory over our once formidable enemy, and with Highland's fall, a new era begins. From now on there will no longer be Highland or City-State. Every country is now under the rule of this person whom we will now proclaim as our leader. It would be a great honor for me to present to you this young man." Shu pauses in his speech and turns to look at me. "Ladies and gentlemen… may I present to you lord Kenji of the Orange Army!"

     A loud round of applause shatters the silence when I get up. As I walk towards the podium where Shu is, from the corner of my eye I can see the people's expectant faces. But the cheerful clapping and whistling once again dies down into polite silence when Shu moves back to let me take over where he was standing.

     Okay… relax. Why do I always get jittery in front of a crowd? It's not like this is the first time I've done this sort of thing but I just can't seem to get used to it. Right then… here goes nothing. Just take a deep breath and let the words slip out of my mouth. Well, no matter how jumbled they sound when they do anyway.

     "I… I'm really moved that you all trust me so much. I never really knew that I could get this far. Before, all I ever worried about was, well, Jowy and Nanami…"

    ~ Jowy…~ 

     "They were always the ones who had to look after me…"

    ~_You were always there by my side…Watching over me… Taking care of me…~_

     "And now… I can't believe that it's **me** who has to do the looking after… And not just of one or two people… but so many…"

   _  ~Was I ever… able to do the same for you…?~_

     "I hope that I can meet your expectations… that I could really be someone that you can trust."

     _~Did I ever let you down…?~ _

     "But I… I can't accept this responsibility for now…"

     Shocked silence follows my statement for a moment before angry protests erupt and fill the Meeting Room. Even without looking at them I know that Victor and Flik are gaping at me. And Shu… I can almost feel the surprise written all over his face.

     "Lord Kenji? Why this all of a sudden!?"

     "We want you to be our leader!"

     "Please, Lord Kenji!"

     "Don't abandon us!"

     "That's right! We won't accept anyone else to be our leader!"

     The people's voices are deafening… they're throwing all these questions at me all at once that I can't find the chance to speak. How can I explain this to them? Just because of a stupid promise I'm going to leave all these people? But to me… a promise is a promise. It must be kept no matter what. I gave my word to him. I… I…

     "If everyone would please calm down." Shu's voice was so loud it almost sounded like a lion's roar. Then he turns to me and looks straight into my eyes. "I do not understand any of this… Lord Kenji. Why the sudden change of heart? Would you please explain so that we can understand what's in your mind?" 

     "No…" My head shakes automatically. "It's not that I don't want to rule… I… I still want to."

     "So what's the issue, kid?" Victor asks as he and Flik come forward from the middle of the crowd.

     "I… I made a promise to someone." A promise that I know I'll never be at ease until I fulfill. "So I want to… to see him and keep my word. Besides… if I can't keep a promise to one person, I'll never be worthy of the faith that all these people put on me. I hope you understand…" 

     And now all I can do is keep my head down. I don't think I'll ever have the courage to face these people again after what I've said… and am about to do.

     Victor stops right in front of me, no doubt to kill me. Close my eyes tightly… it'll probably lessen the coming pain. 

     Will it be a hard slap, punch…? Will he lift his sword and stab me or… or… 

     He gently lays his hand above my head. Okay, I wasn't expecting this. "Go."

     "What?" When I look up to him, only then do I notice he's actually smiling. 

      "Victor's right…" Flik adds, also grinning at me. "Whatever it is that you feel you should do, do it. I'm sure it's very important if it's bothering you this much."

     "You've done enough for us, kid. And we don't want to force you into doing this. We want you to be our leader, of course. But more than that, we'd be happier if you willingly decided to do it for us." Victor tells me as he ruffles my hair.

     "I shall side with your decision, lord Kenji. Whatever it is." Shu firmly states. 

     "I… I do want to be your leader. But… not yet… I think I'm not ready for now. And I still have something I really need to do." It's important to me… though none of them would probably understand.

     "Then go ahead. We shall await your return." Shu simply puts and gives me a reassuring smile. The first one I've ever seen from him.

      And without any second thoughts, I feel myself rushing out of the castle and into that place where everything began.

~*~*~*~

     I'm almost there. I'm sure of it. I can hear the sound of falling water crashing to the pool below it. Damn it… I haven't run this far- or this fast- since the war ended. Or maybe it's just because I lack sleep. Slow down and stop for a bit… Phew… I'm panting so hard. Breathe in. Breathe out. 

     Right then. Better get going. Just a little more… I'm almost there. 

     Wha…there's someone else here…

     Wait a minute… 

     It can't be… 

      Is it really… 

     "Jowy?"

     He turns to look at me, traces of exhaustion visible all over his face. 

     Oh Jowy…

     My feet automatically take me to his side. But I'm barely a feet near him when he raises his dragon rod and points it at me.

     "Face me… One on one… Let this be the last battle between the king of Highland and the leader of the alliance." He orders harshly.

      "Jowy I can't… I'll never raise my weapon against you… no more… please…" I know I sound pathetic, but I'll beg on my knees if I have to. I've had enough. I… I just…

     "Don't be a fool, Kenji. We both knew from the start that one of us has to die in the end. And I'm sure you realize that it's me who has to disappear. Highland has fallen. So will its king. No other person deserves to take my life than you, Kenji. As leader of the alliance and… as the friend I've betrayed." His eyes had a pained look when he said the last part.

      "No… No…" Shake my head. Jowy's stubborn. But I'm more so. I could never hurt him. 

     Never… 

     Because I… I…

     "Damn it, Kenji! Don't deprive me of an honorable death!" He bellows, then his voice lowers into a softer, gentler tone. "Besides… I'd prefer to die by your hands than anyone else's… It's the least I can do to atone for everything I've put you through… For every single pain I've caused…"

     "I won't do it!" And I drop my twin fangs to prove it to him. "Kill me then. If one of us has to die that badly, I'd rather be the one to give my life. I could never hurt you… Jowy."

     "You're an idiot." He tells me, the coldness in his voice making me shiver. 

     He walks closer to me and raises his weapon, ready to strike.

     My eyes are shut tight instead. 

     Is this it?

     Is this how everything's going to end?

     Jowy… Will I never see your smile again…?

     All of a sudden, Jowy wraps his arms around me. 

     "Jowy…" And I hug him back.

     Soon his hold on me loosens and he collapses to the ground, taking me down with him. I mean, face it, I'm a lot smaller (and obviously lighter) than he is.

     "Jowy!" What's happening to him?

     "Ke… Kenji… Give me your hand…" He pants.

      "What? I don't understand…" I hold him closer.

     "Give it to me, quick! I need to give you the black sword rune before something happens to me. I'm so tired… the summoning of the Beast Rune took all my energy…" 

     He grabs my hand but I pull it away a bit harsher than I intended to.

     "No… NO!!! I won't take it. Don't make me repeat myself, Jowy… I won't let anything happen to you. I don't want to be ever be separated from you again! Jowy… Please… I can only take so much…" I hear myself sob.

     He touches my cheek and gives me a weak smile.

     "But this is the end of the line for me… I can't go any further… Kenji… Let me give you the rune before it's too late." He gently reaches for my hand again but I just hold him tighter.

      "No! I… I… I won't let you go a second time!" I sound so pitiful but like hell I care. I want to be with Jowy again. Yes, I'm really that desperate. 

     "Kenji…"

     All of a sudden, a blinding white light appears and from it the figure of a fair lady that we first encountered in the Toto shrine emerges.

     "I've witnessed how strong the friendship that binds you is… You two have done well. Now, let me show you my gratitude." It's Leknaat… the one who entrusted to us our runes.

     She lays her hand above Jowy's chest and a white glow engulfs him. As she chants a soft prayer, I can see that Jowy's wounds are slowly closing and in the blink of an eye, his body looks as though he was never wounded at all. After lifting her hands off Jowy, Jowy's eyes slowly flutter open. 

     "I wish both of you well. Now you can live the way you want. Take good care of the gift I entrusted to you. It is yours. Use it the way you deem best."

     And she disappears… leaving me alone with Jowy again.

     Jowy looks up at me… his gentle blue eyes fixed with mine. "Kenji…"

     "Jowy…" I can feel my eyes shuddering… then a drop of warm liquid slowly falls from the corner. "You heard her too, right? We… We can live the way we want now, right? We… We can finally be together again… Right, Jowy? Jowy?"

     He sits up and pulls me into a tight hug. "Yes… We… We can really be together again."

      Just like I always believed… wished… hoped we'd be. I guess wishes do come true.

     "Well now… looks like we came at a very bad time to interrupt." That's Shu's voice.

      Jowy and I hastily pull away. When I look behind me, I see Shu heading towards us. Victor, Flik and Doctor Huan are tailing behind him.

     "Why are you all here?" My head tilts to the side curiously.

     "You were in such a hurry when you left the castle that we weren't given the chance to tell you something very important." Shu stops right in front of me then motions to the others. "And it is something that all of use here are involved in. So… in case you'll get mad at what we did, we might as well let you know that we planned this together."

     I don't know why… but for some reason what he said made me unconsciously step back, closer to Jowy. Jowy holds my hand protectively.

     "What is it about?" Jowy asks, looking at Shu seriously.

     "I think it would be better if we show it to you… rather than tell you about it."

~*~*~*~

     From Tenzan pass Shu and the others takes us back to Kyaro… to our home, Grandpa Genkaku's dojo. And before I could even ask why, Shu knocks and someone opens the door. When the figure waiting inside turns to us… I suddenly feel my whole body freeze. 

     I could've screamed… if only my throat wasn't too dry and my voice mysteriously disappeared and hid somewhere I couldn't find it.

     I could vaguely hear Jowy's voice but for some reason I can't understand what he's saying.  

     For a moment I thought of running away but I can't move.

      The moment the mysterious figure fixes her eyes at me, her face shines with a wide smile, but silver tears are rolling down his eyes. 

       "Well… what are you staring at me like that for? Give your big sister a hug!" She enthusiastically exclaims while sobbing.

     And when I registered what she said, my body just moved on its own and hugged her so tight. I could feel my eyes shuddering again… and this time I just couldn't hold back my tears. They just keep flowing out of my eyes and I can't stop them even if I wanted to. I could barely breathe… overtaken by uncontrollable sobs. 

     I'm starting to feel weaker… my senses are suddenly failing me now. 

      I could faintly hear her calling out my name… then Jowy's voice… before everything turns black.

     I guess this is what I get for not having enough sleep.

~*~*~*~

**tbc?**

=^w^= Um… I'm quite unsure of how I did in this chapter. Please let me know what you think. Suggestions on how I can improve will make this little neko very happy too. ^_~ Onegaishimasu!!!


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 

            It's so dark in here… I can make out the shape of trees. The trunks look like they have faces and they're… howling. Wait… This place looks familiar. I've been here before. When? I can't even remember… 

            I'm scared… Why am I all alone in here…? Where's everyone? 

            Of course… They're all gone… 

            Grandpa Genkaku…

            Nanami…

            And…

            Jowy…

            All gone…

            I'm left behind… 

            But why? Why in this dark, desolate place? It's so creepy in here… Where's Victor? Flik? Even Shu…? Everyone… Why do they always leave me behind? I'm so scared… I want to get out of here… Someone, anyone… Please… Take me home… 

            I don't want to be alone anymore… 

            You promised you'll never leave me alone…

            You promised you'll stay by my side… Always…

            Where are you…?

            Jowy…

            "Kenji!"

            Someone's shaking my shoulders…

            "Kenji, wake up!"

            That voice…

            "Kenji… Kenji!"

            "Jowy…?" Force my eyes open. "Jowy… Jowy!" My arms just throw themselves around him before I even knew it. "You… You're really here! I thought…"

            "Shhh…" He pulls me close. "It's all right… It was just a dream…" He strokes my hair. "I heard you calling for me. I'm here… I'm right here…" Then he pulls away and cups my face. "Do you want to talk about it? Your dream-- Um, nightmare anyway."

            "I…" He's looking straight into my eyes. And his smile is as kind as it always was. I really missed his smile… A smile that never fails to tell me everything's going to be okay. "I was in a dark woods… Lost and all alone… No one was there… _You_ weren't there… And it felt horrible… Scary…" Then without thinking, I take his hands and hold on to them desperately, as if he'll disappear if I let go. "Don't ever leave me again. Please?" 

            And he pulls me into a hug again.

            "Never. I promise." Then he pulls away and looks at me straight in the eye, his face is gentle but his eyes are gleaming with determination. "And if you ever get lost, I promise, I'll find you."

            When I look around, it's only then that I notice I'm actually in my room. The fact that I'm not in the castle is roof enough that everything wasn't a dream. It's all true. I'm with Jowy again. So that means…

            "Jowy, is…" Why do I suddenly feel like me heart is beating faster…? I take a deep breath and force myself to continue. "Is… Is Nanami…"

            As if he already knew my unspoken question, he simply holds my shoulder. "Yes, she's here. Do you want to see her now?"

            "Yes." I nod.

            I push back my blankets then hastily get out of bed. Jowy walks ahead and I follow behind him. But when we reach the wooden dividing wall partitioning my room from Nanami's, I don't know why but my feet abruptly decided to stop. My hands then unconsciously reach out to grab the back of Jowy's favorite blue turtleneck shirt. 

            "Kenji?" He looks back at me, apprehension written all over his face.

            "I don't know… Jowy, I… I don't think I'm ready to face her." 

            When I bite my lower lip, Jowy chuckles softly. "Silly. It's just Nanami. You don't have to be nervous."   

             "But… but…"

            Then he takes my hand. "I'm right here if you need anything, okay? Don't be afraid. Besides…" He turns to face me and his other hand touches my cheek. "If you need to… You can just cry again. You've been through so much. It's okay."

            "Jowy…" 

            And I feel my face light up into a smile.

            When we step out into the kitchen a familiar aroma welcomes my nose. It's Nanami's curry. Looks like I'm right. There she is, her back is on us as she continues to stir the contents of the cooking pan.

            "Hmm… smells like someone's trying to burn something in here." Jowy smirks. 

            The next moment a piece garlic collides with his forehead. 

            "Shut up, you!" Nanami turns to us with a furious scowl in her face. "I'm trying to cook a delicious dinner for us and this is how you… KENJI!!!!!" He runs to me and before I have time to react she wraps me in a tight embrace. "Oh you're all right! I was so worried about you! Shu told me you weren't getting enough sleep! Did you even eat right? And oh, I told him! If he wasn't taking good care of you I'll beat him into a bloody pulp!"

            This is Nanami all right.

            "Oi! If you don't stop that you'll end up killing him yourself." Jowy laughs, still nursing his forehead. 

            "Oh, little brother." She pulls aways and ruffles my hair. "I'm so glad you're all right now."

            Then out of the blue, my stomach growls. What a way to ruin the moment. 

            Jowy bursts into a fit of laughter. Followed by Nanami. And, much to my chagrin, even me. 

            Still… It feels really good. We haven't laughed together like this in a _very_ long time. 

~*~

            Over dinner, Nanami explained everything to us. How she planned the whole thing with Shu and Dr. Huan to tell me that she… died. And it was all because she thought that she was just holding me back so she decided to just come back and wait for me here in Kyaro instead. 

            I'm happy that she's alive and well. But… I told her I won't talk to her for a month. Punishment? Maybe. Hey, what she did was no joke. It hurt. A lot. But when she promised never to do it again, I can't help but forget about it. So I decided to let her go. For now. 

            If she ever does something like that I'd personally kill her.

            After dinner we decided to pay a visit to Grandpa's grave. When I was young I always told him everything that happened. Except of course those things Jowy and Nanami made me swore never to tell. And now, I really feel like I have so many things to tell him. So much has happened. The last time I've been here was before everything all this happened. Jowy and I have been proclaimed as spies… Then there was this war against highland… A war that nearly tore our friendship when I became leader of the Orange army and Jowy the king of Highland… 

            All this… All this happened the moment we left Kyaro. Our home. 

            And now that it's all over. We're back here again. Now I think I know what it means when they say "Home sweet home.". 

Yes, Grandpa, this place where you took us under your wing… This will always be our home. 

When I open my eyes after offering a silent prayer for Grandpa Genkaku's soul, there are only two of us left outside. 

"Jowy? Where's Nanami?" 

"Oh. She went in ahead. She didn't want to disturb you because she knew you wanted to catch up for the time you haven't talked to Grandpa Genkaku." Said Jowy, sitting cross-legged just a little away from where I'm kneeling. "Are you done?"

"Yes." I nod at him.

He gets up and reaches out a hand to me. "Want to come with me?" 

I wanted to ask him where but I think the question showed on my face before I asked it out loud so he adds "To our usual place."

And I understood so I take his hand.

There's this big tree behind our house where Jowy and I used t hang out together when we were kids. We'd just sit here and talk about anything or just simply enjoy companionable silence. Sometimes we'd escape our training in the unicorn brigade and take a nap here, but then whenever Grandpa Genkaku found out he'd punish us by giving us extra hard martial arts training called household chores. 

Sometimes we'd even climb up the tree. I even remember one time I slipped and Jowy jumped down just to catch me. He really takes care of me like I'm a baby. And maybe that's why I love him so much… Wait a minute… Did I just say…

"We're here." Jowy stretches. "It's so nice to be back here again, eh Kenji?"

"Huh? Uh… Y-yes…" I'm stammering, I'll give myself away like this.

Jowy sits down and leans on the wide trunk of the tree and gestures for me to do the same. "Come on." He taps the space beside him.

"Okay." 

The moment I sit down, Jowy wraps an arm around me. So I shift a bit and lean on his shoulder. 

"We shared so many memories here…" He sighs. 

When I glance up at him he's looking up at the stars, looking meditative.

"Yeah…" I look up too just in time to see a shooting star. It passed faster than the blink of an eye that I'm glad I didn't miss it.

"Kenji, you saw that too, right?" He looks at me. "Let's make a wish then."

"Right!" I close my eyes and wish for only one thing. The only wish I've always prayed for all my life. That Nanami and Jowy will always be safe so that we can be together… Always…

"Hey! You two! It's getting pretty cod out there. Aren't you ever going to come in!?" Nanami yells from the back door. 

"All right, all right! We're coming! Geez…" Jowy answers. 

So I get up, chuckling a little. "Come on." I reach out a hand to him. Jowy grabs my hand.

Then all of a sudden pulls me back down. "Hey!" That startled me.

And he laughs. 

            "Jowy…" I pout, playing along. "That was mean." 

It makes him laugh even more. "You're so cute when you do that."

It's a good thing his back was on me when he said that because I don't think it's a very good sign that my cheeks feel like they're on fire. Besides, it'll make him laugh at me more than he already did too many times tonight.  

            "Hey… What did you wish for?" He asks me as we both get up. 

            "What else would I wish for when I have you and Nanami…?" I tell him, smiling. "What about you?"

            He looks at me with a serious expression and I feel like his eyes can see through my soul. He comes closer to me and wraps his arms around my waist. The next moment comes in a blur… It feels as though everything around us disappeared and the only thing real was his lips… gently, softly brushing against mine.

            Like Jowy said… We shared so many memories here… Right under this tree.

            But I think this is the best one yet.

~*~

**Tbc…?**


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"This place hasn't changed much, huh…" Jowy sighs, grinning. "Still as lively as ever."

"Yeah." Smile back at him.

Just as Jowy said, the village market really hasn't changed much. I still recognize most of the vendors here. I even remember seeing some of them when I used to come here with Grandpa Genkaku.

"Ne, Kenji, look at this." Jowy beckons me to come closer. He's peering at some of the seafood lined up at the wooden table. There's squid, then prawns, and then clams, and…

"Geh!" Jowy suddenly grabs my arm.

"Jowy?" Blink at him curiously.

"Fish… moving… It kinda startled me. Hehe…" He grins sheepishly.

"Jowy…" Cover my lips to stifle my laughter.

"Hey!"

Too late.

"Don't laugh, you!" He traps me into a headlock.

"But you know…" He looks at the fish again after he releases me. "These don't look that fresh, really. Maybe we should go back to the castle sometimes and try fishing on the port."

The castle? But that's… I… After what happened. After what I did. That place is…

"Ow!" Jowy pinches my cheek. "Jowy! What'd you do that for?"

"If you're not ready to go back there, just say so." He looks at me sternly. "You… You rarely speak up. Sometimes, it makes me feel like I don't understand you. But, even though you're not saying anything, you'd have this sad look in your eyes. And I hate seeing that." Then he gently caresses the spot he pinched earlier. "If there's something you want to say, talk to me, okay? I don't want to see that kind of face anymore, ne?"

"Okay." Lean on his touch.

"That's about it, right?" Jowy asks as we near the market's exit, double-checking the contents of the straw bag Nanami gave us before we left.

"Yup." I check on the list she gave us along with it. All of the items have already been crossed out. "I think we got everything she wrote."

"Right. Let's go. Nanami will beat us up if we take too long. And… Hm?"

Jowy frowns. I follow his gaze and see that at the town's entrance, there's a group of kids huddled together.

"I wonder, what's going on…?" Jowy mumbles.

"Let's go see." I grab his wrist and we dash towards them.

"What's up?" The kids look up at Jowy upon hearing his question.

"We saw this _neechan_ (1) walk in just a while ago. And then all of a sudden she just passed out." A little girl in pigtails tells us.

The fallen figure is wearing a white cloak with a fuzzy trim and underneath that, she's also wearing a white robe with silver linings on the hem and sleeves. Beside her is a staff bearing the shape of a crescent moon on one end, and with curious patterns carved all throughout the handle.

"Can I see…?" Jowy kneels down beside her and starts checking the pulse on her neck and wrist. "She seems fine. Maybe she's tired 'cause she traveled from far away, or maybe she fainted from the heat."

"Could be both…" Kneel down beside Jowy then lay my hand on her forehead. "It's not much, but…" Close my eyes. Feel the beating of my heart and slowly, let warmth flow from my heart and into my palm.

"Kenji, your palm…" He touches my shoulder. "It's glowing."

"Mm… I know." My rune has the power to heal and it lights up whenever I use it. When it does, it feels so warm.

With my free hand, I reach for her wrist and feel her pulse as the warmth travels from my other hand into her unconscious form. In just a matter of seconds, I feel her fingers start to move. And then she groans.

When I open my eyes and look at her face, her eyes slowly open too. Her eyes are blue like the sky, perfectly complementing her short, light gold hair like the sun.

"Was it you?" She asks with a gentle smile. "You healed me, right?"

"Mm!" Grin back at her.

"Thank you… AH!" She abruptly sits up and grabs my arm. "I have to go to Orange Castle! If you know where it is, can you please give me directions? I have to go there immediately! If I don't go now, I won't be able to go back to our country soon and I'll be scolded again!" She babbles breathlessly.

I look at Jowy questioningly, and he answers. "Well, it's kind of a long way from here. Let's see, you just…"

"But you know where it is, right?" She asks insistently.

We nod at her.

"If you'll let me, I'll just look it up in your memory. It'll be faster that way." She looks at me with puppy eyes.

"Eh? O… Okay."

It can't be harmful, right?

"Excuse me…" She closes her eyes and touches my forehead with her index and middle fingers. I immediately feel a sort of force pulling something out of my head. It stops for a moment. Is it over? Ah, but why isn't she pulling her fingers back yet? And then I feel the same force come back into my head, and it stops again, as if it hit against a wall, but I can still feel it. It's still there.

And all of a sudden, I feel a sharp pain at the back of my head.

"Kenji!" As soon as I grimace, Jowy slaps her hand away. "What did you do?" He calmly asks her. His voice is quiet, but cold. And he's looking at her with a dangerous look in his eyes.

"I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!" She bows repeatedly. "I'm still an amateur so… But I honestly didn't mean to hurt you. Please forgive me." She looks at me pleadingly.

"I'm okay, so don't worry about it." Smile at her.

"If your carelessness will just hurt other people, then don't use that power at all." Jowy scolds her, but the sad gleam in his eyes makes it feel like he's telling it more to himself than her.

"I'm terribly sorry." She bows again. Then she turns to me. "But I was able to find out the directions through the help of your memory. Thank you so much!" She bows, this time, out of gratitude. "I'll be on my way now, then. AH!"

"Wha… What?"

"How rude, I haven't even introduced myself yet! My name is Seisuke. I'm from Harmonia. Nice to meet you!" She extends her hand for a handshake.

"Um… I'm Kenji." Shake her hand.

"Jowy." Jowy does the same.

"I know." She beams. "Saw it in your memory." Then she winks at me.

"Well then, I'll be off! See ya!"

She picks up her staff, which we quite ignored up until now. She raises it and begins to draw strange symbols in the air. And with a puff of smoke, she disappears. Just like that. As if she was never here.

"Wow… That was so cool…" The kids around us gape in awe.

Oh. Right. I almost forgot that there were kids all over. It's a good thing only these kids seemed to have seen what happened. If there were adults around, it would've been quite a scene.

"And that _neechan_ was so pretty."

"Seisuke, wasn't it…?" Jowy frowns slightly.

"And so you're telling me you two came back late because you were flirting with some mysterious pretty woman who was lost and fainted in the streets?" Nanami raises an eyebrow, arms crossed and right foot tapping on the floor. She began interrogating us as soon as we walked through the door.

"Look, I know it sounds dramatic but it's true." Jowy answers defensively.

"Hmph! Whatever." Nanami turns away with a huff and walks off to the kitchen. "But because you're late, don't complain if we eat a late dinner." She yells from the kitchen, while checking the ingredients we got.

"Hai…" Jowy and I sigh in defeat. And we march off to the kitchen to help.

Nanami then opens the drawer to get two peelers. I reach for the chopping board then Jowy passes me a knife, with him holding the sharp edge and offering the handle to me. "Ah, thanks." And then I pass it to Nanami the same way Jowy did to me. Nanami then hands the peelers to us. And so we start preparing dinner.

"Oh, by the way…" Nanami stops in the middle of chopping the potatoes Jowy and I peeled. "Isn't Seisuke a boy's name?" She tilts her head to the side.

I look at Jowy. And Jowy looks back at me. And we blink. And blink.

"EH?"

"This is so unfair…" Jowy sighs theatrically. "Why'd she have to make us wash the dishes, eh?" He rubs the sponge on the plate with more force than necessary. And… is he pouting?

That's so…

When he hears me chuckle, he looks at me and scowls.

"You… This again." He rubs the plate harder and then… hey!

He just put soap bubbles on my cheek! "Jowy!"

"Serves you right." He mimics Nanami's huff.

"Che." Pout at him.

And he starts pinching my cheeks. With soap bubbles and all.

"Jowy!" Pry his soapy hands off me. It's so itchy!

"Sorry sorry." He sniggers. "Just now, you looked so cute."

"You…" Scowl at him.

"That's… Kenji! Quit it! You look more adorable than scary like that." And he breaks into a fit of laughter. The bastard.

Fine. If he's going to be like that, I'm not talking to him for the rest of the… Eh?

Just now… Squint my eyes to get a better view. There's a window situated right above the sink where we're washing the dishes right now. And when I glanced outside, I thought I saw a silhouette under the tree. Was someone standing there…?

"Kenji? What's wrong?" Jowy looks at me questioningly.

"Ah, no… I thought I saw someone near the tree just now." Rub my eyes then look out again. There's nothing there. No one. "Must've been my imagination."

"Are you tired?" Jowy smiles gently at me. "We're almost done. Why don't you go to bed? I'll finish this myself."

"Mm-mm" Shake my head. "We'll finish quicker if we do it together."

"Are you sure?" He looks at me skeptically.

"Yeah."

He looks at me longer, as if studying my face. "Okay." He nods. Then he shifts his gaze to the tree. "Kenji. Last night, under our tree… You remember, right?" He asks me, looking outside with a gentle gleam in his eyes.

Last night…?

All of a sudden, I feel heat rushing to my cheeks. "M… Mm."

The plate I was rinsing suddenly slips from my hold. But Jowy catches it just in time then softly lays it on the sink, right beside the plate he was soaping. Then he turns to me, reaches for my hands with his soapy ones, and looks at me straight in the eye. "I wasn't joking. And it wasn't out of whim. And I wasn't just caught in the moment, either. I think that, at the back of my mind, it was something I've wanted to do for a long time. Just that… I never realized it until last night." With a sigh, he gives my hands a gentle squeeze. "I meant it."

"I know." Lean on his chest. Um… As much as I want to hug him right now, I really don't want to be hugged back by his soapy hands.

"Right. Now let's finish this off."

"Mm!" Beam at him.

And Jowy smirks at me. "And after we're done, maybe we can continue what we were talking about when we go to bed."

My head probably looks like a tomato by now.

Stupid Jowy.

It's so hot… What's going on? The last thing I remember is, we were just washing the dishes. And then we went to bed and I think I passed out as soon as we got into my room because I was so sleepy already.

For some reason, I can't breath. What is this smell?

… Smoke?

My eyes snap open. Fire… The whole place is burning!

"Jo… Jo…!" I want to call out Jowy's name, but my voice won't come out. It can't. All that's coming out of my mouth is my coughing and I could barely breathe. No, I don't have time to worry about this now. Jump out of bed. I must find Jowy and Nanami first, and make sure they're okay.

A door? When did my room have such a big door? Wait… Wha… What it this place? This isn't my room. It's too big. And…

When I look around, it's only then that I realize that everything here is foreign to my eyes.

And yet… it feels strangely familiar. As if I've been here before.

Where…? Oh, so the bed I was sleeping on is actually a four-post bed with royal blue curtains hanging from them. Big framed pictures are hung on the walls. There's a pair of curtains being blown by the wind. Behind it are opened glass doors leading to… Squint my eyes to get a better view… A balcony?

Amidst the crackling of flames, I hear the door open with a creak. When I turn to look, a boy comes in. He closes the door behind him and locks it. He looks around the room and as soon as our eyes meet, he runs to me. His eyes… They're the exact same color as mine. Looking closer, his hair is just the same as mine too. His cheeks look tear-stained. "We don't have much time." He sniffs. "Hurry, put this on."

He puts something on my forehead. And it perfectly fits, just like the gold circlet that I've always worn since I was a child. Wait… my circlet…?

"What is this?" I ask him. Strangely enough, my voice sounds so small. As if it were a small child's…

"This will protect you. Even if they come looking for you, they will never find you."

Suddenly, a series of loud banging resounds from the door.

"Go!" He gently pushes me away. "Run to the balcony and jump. Someone will catch you from below. Hurry!"

"But…" Hold on to his arm. "Let's go together."

"No. I'll make sure you get out of here safely first. Go!" He pushes me, more roughly this time. "I said go!" He yells.

"No!" Shake my head at him. I don't want to leave him. I can't remember who he is, but somehow, my heart pangs just at the mere thought of being separated from him.

And then with another loud bang, the door opens. Outside, there's a group of people whose faces I can't see, because the hoods of their blood red cloaks are pulled over their heads.

"I won't let you get him." He stands in front of me, blocking me from the intruders. With a sad yet determined look in his eyes, he closes his fingers over a his pendant- that strangely looks so familiar to me yet I can't remember when or where I saw it- then yanks it off. "Mother… Please protect us."

He starts to mutter some words. Words that are- again, though I don't recognize- sound familiar to me for some reason. In the middle of his chanting, I notice one of the hooded guys raise his hands. A chill runs down my spine, as if I knew what he was about to do. And then I understand why when red needles start forming out of nowhere. The needles are pointed at us. And with bullet like speed, it shoots off towards its targets.

Close my eyes. Here it comes!

All of a sudden, I hear something like metal hitting against glass. A very hard glass. Open my eyes a little and peek. I see the needles scattered on the floor right in front of us, and I see something like a glowing barrier, right between our bodies and the fallen needles.

"There isn't much time." He swiftly grabs my arm and hastily drags me across the room, carefully avoiding the scattered fire and falling debris. As soon as we reach the balcony, he closes the glass doors. From behind I can still see the hooded people trying to break through the barrier he created. And then he pulls me close and hugs me tightly.

After but a brief moment, he pulls away "Go." He whispers.

And he pushes me off the balcony.

As I feel myself falling, I hear my voice calling out to him.

… Before everything turns black.

I can feel someone firmly shaking my shoulders.

"Kenji! Kenji, wake up!"

That's Jowy's voice. He's calling me so loudly.

"Don't… Don't yell. I can hear you."

Open my eyes. Above me, I can see Jowy looking at me with such a worried face.

"Are you okay? You were groaning in your sleep. And your face was grimaced… It looked as though you were in pain, so I woke you up."

Now that I'm awake, my senses start to come back. My eyes are a bit blurry. And my head feels like I walked into a brick wall. And my heart… It's pounding so hard as if I've been running so fast.

Jowy runs his fingers through my hair. And whenever he does that, I feel calm. I can feel my heart slowing down, starting to beat normally little by little.

"Jowy… What happened?" I usually forget my dreams. But this dream felt so real.

"I was just watching you sleep, then you started groaning."

It's as if… It was trying to tell me something.

"And then, you started mumbling."

It's as if… It wasn't just a dream.

"I couldn't make out the words, so I leaned closer to listen to what you were saying. You were calling out to someone."

It's as if… It was a part of me.

"You were calling out to your 'older brother'…"

It's as if… It all happened before. A long time ago.

* * *

**A/N:** No no… this fic isn't dead yet (sweatdrops) I'm so sorry for the long wait. I'll try to update faster this time around. Err… hopefully. (shrinks)

Translations:

(1) _neechan_ -in the family context, it is used to address to an elder sister; can also be used to address to a young girl


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

I've never really wondered who my real parents are. Or for that matter, if I had any brothers or sisters. I have Nanami so I know what it feels like to have a sister. But what is a father? What is a mother?

What is… a brother…?

"Brother…?"

The word rolls easily on my tongue. But the meaning doesn't sink in at all. But somehow, each time I call his name, a strange yet very familiar kind of warmth engulfs my chest.

"You're calling out to your brother again." Jowy flops down beside me. "Don't force yourself to remember. "

That's right. I heard about Nanami's past from Grandpa Genkaku. How her parents used to own a small bakery in another town that was also burned down by highland soldiers. I've also heard about Grandpa Genkaku's past from Miss Annabelle. Among the three of us... I'm the only one whose past is unknown.

Grandpa Genkaku never told me or Nanami anything, and now I'm having doubts if he even knew me at all. He's a very kind person, so I'm sure, even if it was our first meeting when he found me, it didn't stop him from taking me in.

"Kenji, I..." Jowy turns to me and plucks a stray leaf off my hair. "I don't know if there's any way I can help, but, I'll stay beside you all the way."

"Mm. Thanks, Jowy." Smile at him.

'_I really need you right now.'_

Looks like I didn't how tense my shoulders were until I feel them slowly relax. Looking ahead, it feels like I have just now become aware of my surroundings even though I've been out here in the patio since I woke up. So deep in thought, I never realized how beautiful the weather is. The cloudless sky, giving way to the sun and its golden rays filtered by the leaves of the lone tree in our backyard… Oh, crap. Each time I look at that tree… our tree… heat just creeps up my cheeks.

"Your face is red. Are you okay?" Jowy gently presses his palm on my forehead. "You don't have a fever again do you? You were often sick back then."

"Sheesh Jowy, I'm not a kid anymore." Pout at him.

"Right. Bet you don't realize you look like one when you pout like that." He ruffles my hair.

I struggle to get his hands off me when Nanami's head pops out of the window and hits Jowy's head with an empty basin, making a soft thump.

"It's too early to flirt, you two. How about getting in here and helping me with breakfast, hm?"

"You! Why is it always me? You never hit Kenji, that's not fair." Jowy puffs his cheek out.

"It's his privilege as my cute younger brother." Nanami smirks.

Over breakfast, Jowy and Nanami gets in a heated argument over which one is cuter - a raccoon or a squirrel- when a knock on the door and a rather loud announcement of "Messenger from Orange Castle!" abruptly stops them. Nanami gets up to open it, with us tailing behind her.

There are three people standing outside. Who should have been the 'messenger' turns out to be Victor, who you could easily tell from that raucous voice, with Flik by his side as usual and another person clad in white behind them.

"What are you two doing here?" Nanami bluntly asks, before stepping aside and letting them in, then turns her attention to the third person. "And you are…?"

"Seisuke-san?" I unconsciously blurt out.

"Yeah, it is you." Jowy seconds.

"Yup yup! My name is Seisuke!" She… I mean, _he_ enthusiastically shakes Nanami's hand then turns to us and waves, beaming.

We all walk back to the wooden dining table except for Nanami, who heads over to the kitchen sink to pour three cups of tea. The three men give her soft thanks when she gives each their own drink. Flik pulls out a piece of parchment from inside his coat and unrolls it.

"Kenji, we've come to deliver a message from Shu."

He passes it over to me, prompting Nanami to scoot closer to me and peer in.

"It's a mission." The mumble escapes my lips and I turn to Jowy. He reaches his hand out to me and I reflexively pass him the letter.

Jowy's gaze dart from one corner of the letter to the next and finishes reading the contents in less than a minute. He turns to Flik.

"A request from the empire of Lumina to overthrow the acting emperor?"

Flik nods.

"Lumina…" Nanami echoes. "Isn't that the kingdom located at the mountain of snow?"

"Yup. Also known as the ghost empire. It's been said that ever since the imperial family fell 10 years ago, the people kept the gates closed and set up a barrier in the form of a snow storm." Viktor adds.

"So how did this letter… Seisuke, does this mean you're from Lumina?"

"Yes."

Seisuke nods, with a small smile brightening his delicate features. He really does look like a girl when he smiles like that. But when he opens his mouth, the voice that comes from his lips is undeniably masculine. I guess Jowy and I should've noticed that yesterday too. We just weren't paying attention.

"I'm a student of the magic guild. Or was, at least before our school was shut down by the presently ruling empire."

He gets up from the chair and squats right beside where I'm sitting. Looking up at me, meeting his eyes that reflect the sun's rays coming in from the window makes me feel like I'm on a boat, looking down on sparkling blue waters on a warm summer day.

"Lord Kenji, as the leader of the Orange army that brought down the kingdom of Highland, I want to ask you to please help our country too. It's true that ten years ago the empire had been closed off. In order to prevent any uprising, the new emperor ordered to close the magic guild, the military academy, schools, the church and even the market so there's no place for people to gather. The villagers are like prisoners in their own houses, their food is rationed and they aren't allowed any contact with each other nor with the outside world. And those who don't agree with the new imperial laws that were unreasonably imposed aren't even allowed to leave. "

"That's horrible…" Nanami gasps.

"A group of select magicians, knights and talented scholars were brave enough to rebel and decided to meet discreetly. But our number is too small, and if the emperor ever finds out about us, we'll be no match against the imperial guards. That's why we need your strength."

He asks with pleading voice, eyes unwavering.

"… Can you give me time to think about it?"

After hearing his story, I'm surprised at how steady my voice sounds as I utter this seemingly uncaring reply. But to go on another quest? Just when our lives have gotten back to normal? Come on, the last time I left Kyaro, I didn't even know if I would still make it back alive. If I… would ever see Jowy again.

I've finally been reunited with Jowy and Nanami, and now this?

Besides, as much as I want to help, I don't want to rush headlong into this either. I don't want to just up and commit if I'm going to be half-assed about it. Especially if it involves an entire empire.

"Gotcha."

Victor gets up. Flik follows.

"We know that this ain't gonna be an easy decision for you, kid. So we'll give you some time to think this over." Victor grins smugly, as if he heard my internal monologue. But his smirk is soon wiped off his face when Flik whacks him on the head.

"Don't make it sound as if you were the one who said that." He sighs, then turns to me.

"Shu figured you'll need time to think it over, so he said to tell you that it's okay to think about it for a while. Once you've made up your mind, just come to Orange Castle and let us know your decision. Seisuke-kun will be staying there while waiting."

He tilts his head towards Seisuke who, in turn, speaks.

"Yes. I'll be waiting, lord Kenji. Whether or not you decide to do it, I am still happy that I met you and am thankful that you heard me out… even if it was kind of a surprise visit." He grins sheepishly and playfully sticks his tongue out.

After thanking Nanami for tea and slightly burnt buttered scones, the three head out.

After lunch, Jowy goes out too, saying he wants to drop by the Atreides manor for a bit. Right, he says for a bit but it's almost time for dinner and he isn't back yet. I hate the sad feeling the setting sun always evokes. It doesn't help either that sunset plus missing Jowy brings back bad memories.

It's not like I'm worried that it'll happen again. I trust Jowy and his promise that he'll never leave me again. It's just… somehow, that fear still lingers. I guess I just haven't fully recovered yet. That's right… I don't even know how to start getting over the pains our last journey left me with and now there's a new one waiting already.

"What do I do… Huh?"

I shouldn't be surprised that my feet somehow brought me to Grandpa Genkaku's grave while I was lost in my thoughts. I always run to his side whenever I'm worried. After I kneel down and put my hands together to offer a silent prayer, the unspoken words run through my mind without reserve.

'_Grandpa… You were a hero who lived your life for others, and for me and Neechan, to the very end. I wonder if you're disappointed at this selfish me… who wants to just forget about everything that happened today, and just stay here in Kyaro. I want to help those people, but I also want to stay here and just live with Jowy and Neechan. Will you be mad at me…?'_

"Grandpa… I'm sorry…"

As my intertwined fingers clench tighter, another hand softly clamps over mine.

I look up and see Jowy, his gentle gaze fixed at me. He kneels beside me and offers a quiet moment for grandpa Genkaku, then shifts to sit beside me. As if by instinct, I mimic his actions until we're sitting side by side, cross-legged in front of Grandpa's grave.

"Kenji, I'm sure wherever grandpa Genkaku is, he understands you, just like Shu and the others do. You've been through a lot… all of us have. So it's not strange that you're still scared."

Simple words… But that was all I needed to hear to lift the heavy fog that seemed to have engulfed my chest since this morning. Jowy gets up, and just as he always does, he offers his hand to me. And just as I always do, I take his hand and surrender my weight to him as he pulls me up.

I feel my body relax, but at the same time, a slight shiver runs through my body. Before I can pull my arms up to hug myself, Jowy's arms wrap around me.

"Today… I looked around what was once my house. I didn't have a lot of fond memories there, but the garden was important to me, so I wanted to etch every single detail of it into my mind. Do you know why?"

That garden... If I remember correctly, that was where we met Jowy for the first time. Nanami and I were hiding at the bushes near the fence. We were fleeing from grandpa Genkaku who got angry because we ditched practice.

"Yeah…"

"That was where I first saw you. You were so small, and you were trembling as you held on to Nanami's arm. From then on, I decided that I was going to protect you."

He nuzzles against the top of my hair.

"From now on, whenever you're scared, I want to be right by your side to fight off everything that threatens you."

A sigh escapes my lips and I feel as though all the worries I've been having has left along with it.

"Jowy… I think the Black Sword Rune really suits you."

"How come?"

"Because you're like a knight who fights for the people you love."

With my head still resting on his chest, I feel its gentle vibration as he chuckles.

"And you. You were given the Bright Shield Rune because it's your heart's innate desire to protect. Kenji… You've already made up your mind, haven't you?"

He knows me too well.

"Yeah…"

After dinner, I head to the bedroom to re-read the letter Seisuke delivered while thinking over the day's events.

"Kenji."

I put it down for a bit when Jowy comes in.

"Yeah?"

He 's lugging a pretty bulky bag. As if reading the question from my face, he puts it down on the wooden floor, unzips it, and takes out the contents.

"… Winter coats?"

"Yup. I went back to my house to get them. I got some of my dad's, mom's and mine too."

"But why so many? Or rather, why'd you get them in the first place?"

"Why? Well, I figured you were going to do it even before you made up your mind." Jowy smirks. My goodness, he reminds me of Victor when he does that.

"Here, try this on."

He wraps a long coat around me, and the inside feels so soft and fluffy. I don't know what material it is, because I've never worn something like it before. But I'm sure it's expensive, because it's so comfortable. But on an autumn night it doesn't take much time before I feel it get a bit too warm.

"Good, good." Jowy walks around me, checking the fit from front to back. "Looks like it's just the right size."

"Really!" So that means I've grown. Yes!

"Yup! You can use that and my other winter coats too. Nanami can use my mother's. As for me, I'm using my father's." He babbles on as he puts on his dad's winter coat. And much to my dismay, it fits him just right.

"That's so unfair. How come you're wearing your dad's size now? Did you really grow that much?"

I can't believe this. These were at Jowy's house, so that means this was his size before the war even began. You're telling me it took me this long to grow to that? And now this guy is as big as his father!

"See for yourself."

He walks over to me with a very smug look on his face. This bastard.

"Isn't it okay? Look, we're just the right height for kissing."

I can feel my face heating up, but I won't give him the pleasure of thinking he ca tease me like this all the time. I'll show him. Since it's open anyway, I'll just throw my hesitation out the window and make the move.

Here goes.

Ha. See how wide Jowy's eyes open as I initiate a kiss.

"I guess you're right."

For a moment, I thought I saw the parchment on the desk glow. Was it just my imagination? Maybe it was just from the moon's rays passing through the window. The thought slips my mind as soon as Jowy pulls me in for a payback kiss.

At that time, I had no idea how that single letter would be the beginning of another journey.

A journey that would awaken what had long been sleeping inside me.

* * *

**A/N: **It's been a while! A… very long while? (grins sheepishly)

I know no amount of apologetic words can change the fact that I made you guys wait for a long time. But just the same, I can never give enough thanks to those who are still willing to read this story. To those who are reading this for the first time, nice to meet you!

There's abundant fabrication in this chapter, and there will be more in this fanfic. (sweats) But even so, if you still enjoy the story anyway, I'll be happy.

See you in the next chapter!


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 4**

Ah… that feels so good. I close my eyes and relish the warm water embracing my whole body that feels like a gentle massage, drawing out a sigh. This feels wonderful…

I hear the water splash before I feel someone settle into the bath beside me. "Mm, this feels great…" I hear Jowy sigh.

"Yeah" I nod, keeping my eyes closed. "Orange Castle's baths are the best" And I'm so glad that this time around I can enjoy it with you, I add as an afterthought.

"Kenji," Jowy tentatively speaks. "Are you sure it's okay?"

Open my eyes and look at him. "Jowy, we talked about this already"

This morning, we headed to Coronet town and boarded a boat from there to Orange Castle. We crossed the lake at night and went in through the boat docks at the back. It was long after dark and only the guards patrolling were out. Only Shu, Victor and Flik came to greet us.

Before going in, Jowy hesitantly stopped. He suddenly asked if it was better for him to go ahead and meet up with us somewhere else instead. It was then that I realized how hard it must be for Jowy to come here, considering he was one of us before he became the king of Highland.

Victor laughed it off and simply told Jowy "Well, I can't say I agree with how you did things. But in the end, you proved that you're on our side. You're one of us, kid, and that has never changed."

I also think the same, but just because we think so doesn't mean everyone else does. A lot of people now living in Orange Castle were victims of Highland's cruel acts. And as the former king, Jowy will become the target of those people's scorn, even if it's not directed at him personally.

"Jowy," I pause for a bit, and for a minute, the only thing we could hear in the stone bath was the sound of water falling from the lion statue's mouth as I think of what to say. "Everyone in Orange Castle has already become my family. But you… you're my half. You're all important to me so I really hope everyone can get along."

"Kenji…" Little by little, the anxiety in his eyes starts to disappear until it's replaced with resolve. "I'll do everything I can to atone. I'll never allow it to get to the point where you'll have to choose."

This why I love him so much.

The water makes a small ripple as I raise my submerged body and throw my arms around Jowy. We both know it won't be easy, but I'll definitely stand by his side. I'll make everyone see what kind of person he really is.

"Thank you, Jowy."

-x-

The next day, Shu gathered everyone at the Meeting Room to introduce Seisuke and to let everyone know of our plan to help the empire of Lumina. Seisuke received a warm welcome from everyone, but just as expected, it was the exact opposite for Jowy. The atmosphere was so tense, and only eyes filled with hostility were ever directed at him.

That no one except for Shu, Flik and Victor came to the welcome banquet Leona had especially prepared for us afterwards in her pub could only be an open show of opposition. We were prepared for it, but the pain from such cold treatment wasn't lessened one bit. We decided it would be for the best if we left as soon as possible. After finishing our lunch, we went to the docks and got ready to board our ship.

"Phew. That about does it" Nanami sighs after loading the last box to our boat. "That's everything. Oh right, Kenji, since you always catch a cold during winter, could you drop by Dr. Huan's clinic and ask him for some medicine?"

As much as I want to retort and say I don't get sick that often, Nanami's right. "Okay." I reluctantly agree, shoulders slumping.

Jowy peeks from inside the boat and tosses a brown roll of parchment to me. "While you're at it, since Apple looked up for us what monsters we might encounter along the way, go ask Doc to prepare some antidotes for our first aid box too. I'd love to come and help you carry stuff, but…"

Walking to Dr. Huan's clinic would mean meeting people along the way. Purposely puff my cheeks at him. "Hey, how weak do you think I am? I can at least carry a bag of herbs."

Jowy laughs. Thank goodness. I really do love hearing his laughter.

Dr. Huan greets me with a warm smile as soon as he sees me walk into the infirmary.

"What brings you here today, lord Kenji?"

"Good afternoon, doctor." Grin back at him. "We need some medicine and also antidotes. Apple wrote down the types of monsters commonly seen on our route." I pass him the rolled parchment from Jowy.

"Of crouse. I take it you're leaving for Lumina soon?"

"Yes, as soon as everyone's ready."

He unrolls the parchment and reads the document, lightly nodding every now and then and muttering "I see, I see". After a couple of minutes he saunters to the apothecary cabinet with what looks like hundreds of very tiny drawers. He opens one of them and takes a few leaves, and then another one, and then another one.

While I'm waiting, I look around. The infirmary hasn't changed since I was last here. That day, I was told that my sister had died, and just the memory of it is enough to make me tremble. It doesn't escape Dr. Huan's observant eyes, so he leads me to sit on one of the empty beds and gives me a warm cup of tea.

"Here, drink this. It will help you calm down."

I mutter thanks as I gingerly take the cup from him. As soon as its scent wafts to my nostrils, I already start feeling the soothing effect. After relishing the aroma in a few deep breaths, I start to blow on it. I can't drink while it's too hot. After making sure I'm okay, he goes back to the task at hand.

By the time I finished my tea, Dr. Huan was also done. He gave me a small package wrapped in brown paper. "These medicines and the different kinds of antidotes are all separated in pouches. I included a list of instructions on when to take what and how much, and each pouch has been labeled already."

"Thank you so much, doctor."

"Have a safe journey."

-x-

"Got it?" Nanami asked as soon as I got back.

"Yup!" I hand her over the package.

"Great. Looks like we're all set to go." She proceeds to walk on the wooden board into the same boat we rode from Coronet Town yesterday.

"Is Seisuke-san here already?"

"Yup, everyone's on board. Oh, speak of the devil"

Just then, Seisuke comes running down the stairs from the upper deck.

"Lord Kenji, there's something I need to tell you."

"What is it?"

"Something wrong?" Nanami adds beside me.

"You noticed my staff before, right?" He shows me his staff, the one with a crescent moon-shaped tip and intricate writings. "The moon at the end of this rod symbolizes the source of its wielder's magic. In our country, it varies depending on the magician- and in my case, it's the moon. Because of this, I seem to have some sort of connection with the tides. I can feel if they're calm… or disturbed."

He pauses, and I nod for him to go on. "Okay."

"Right now, the water looks clear. But I'm starting to feel faint traces of a disturbance. Whenever I sense this, it means a storm is coming. We better head out before the storm comes, or wait until it's over and safe to cross the water."

"I see… then we better get going now."

"Are you sure, Kenji?" Nanami asks, sounding concerned. "It might be better to wait for it to pass."

"But…"

"Hey you guys, are you coming aboard or what?" Jowy waves at us from the upper deck, grinning.

"Seisuke-san, you said it would be okay until tonight right? I'll trust you on that. We should be able to make it to the port of Coronet Town before sundown. So let's head out."

He giggles.

He must have seen the question on my face before I asked, so he explained. "Sorry, sorry. I didn't mean anything bad by laughing. It's just, it's so cute how much you care for Jowy's feelings."

"Eh?"

"I mean, don't you want to leave right away because Jowy is uncomfortable here?"

"Oh… Well, I guess that too."

"Eh?" This time, it's Seisuke's turn to look confused. "What do you mean… 'too'?"

"I was just thinking, the sooner we get to Lumina, the better. If the situation is really as bad as you told us, then we have to act on it before things get worse."

Seisuke stared at me, speechless. When he seemed to have collected his thoughts, his blank face relaxed into a smile. "Lord Kenji… Thank you. Thank you so much."

Before I knew it, I was enveloped in a tight hug. When the captain yelled all aboard, he let go of me.

"You two," Nanami coughed. "As much as I find your hugging adorable, the wooden board isn't exactly the best place for it, you know."

I take one long look at the castle before we go. Just then, I see Shu, Flik, Victor and Leona coming our way. Victor runs ahead and traps me into a headlock.

"You didn't think we'd let you leave without saying goodbye, did you kid?"

"Here, lord Kenji, I made some lunches for all of you." Leona hands me a stack of lunchboxes piled up and held together by a cloth with beautiful fruit patterns.

"Are you sure you don't need us to come with you? You can still change your mind." Flik smiles at me.

"Thanks, Flik, but we'll be okay. I promise to call for help when we need you though."

"You better, kiddo." Victor briefly tightens his hold on me before finally letting me go. "Take care, eh kid?"

He looks up and yells at Jowy on the upper deck. "That goes for you too, kid!"

"Is everything ready, lord Kenji?"

"Yup. We're all set to go."

"Please take care. We'll be waiting for you to come back." Shu tells me, fatherly smile in place.

"Mm. Please look after everyone while I'm gone."

As soon as I board, the ship sets sail. I wave at everyone as they wave back at me until I can no longer see them.

-x-

It's already dark by the time we disembark at Coronet Town. It started raining a couple of hours ago, but the lake was still calm by the time we got there. Looking up at the sky, I can feel the raindrops streaming down my cheeks.

"Amazing… it's just like Seisuke-san said."

"Hm?" Jowy takes of his coat and puts it over our heads. "What did he say?"

"That he can feel the tides... that there will be a storm tonight."

"He's right. It's raining already, and the winds are starting to pick up."

And as if right on cue, thunder roared.

When lightning flashes, I see a silhouette at the corner. Squint my eyes. Taking a closer look, there's no one there. Then all of a sudden I see another figure clad in crimson cloak move by the lamppost no too far from there, before it disappears into the street.

"We better get you inside before you catch a cold. Apple said she reserved an inn for us already, let's go check it out. It should be close to… Kenji?"

"Jowy, I think we're being watched. I couldn't see their faces, but I saw one wearing a red hood."

Just like the ones I saw in my dream. Jowy's face turns serious when he tells me. "Kenji, stay under the cover."

He pulls out and quietly tells the other two behind us.

"Nanami, Seisuke, try to act natural and keep walking. Kenji said it seems like we're being watched."

"By who?" Nanami asked.

"No idea, one of them was wearing a red cloak."

"Them?! You mean there's more than one?" Nanami gasped, struggling to keep her voice at a whispering volume.

Seisuke, on the other hand abruptly halts in his tracks.

"Did you just say red cloak? Oh no…"

Jowy turns to him "Seisuke?"

"I hope I'm wrong… but if my suspicions are right, I might be the one they're after. I don't know how they could've possible found out, but they know I came here to ask for help."

"And the fact that they're waiting here means they know you came from Orange Castle. And they know you're safe there, that must be why they waited for you to get out so they can strike when you're away from protection."

"Ha, that's where they're dead wrong" Nanami huffs. "As long as we're here, no one can lay a finger on you."

"Nanami…"

Another silhouette disappears into one of the alleys, this time much closer to us, and then another one less than two meters away, into the alley beside the building where I used to play dice with Tai Ho.

"Jowy"

"Yeah, I saw them. I think we better head out of the village first and try to lure them away so no one gets involved. Nanami, Seisuke, stay close to us. No matter what happens, we must never get separated. On three, we sprint to the outskirts of the town. One, two, three!"

And we dash away from the village into the open field as fast as we can. And just as we suspected, about five or so hooded figures came out to run after us.

As soon as we are safely away from the village, Jowy and I knock two of them down using our buddy attack. While Nanami's trying to fend off one of them, the rest start to gang up on Seisuke. Jowy yells out as we run to his aid "Leave him alone!"

At the corner of my eye I see one of them aim for Seisuke's arm so I block it off, and just then Jowy's dragon rod blocks another guy's baton aimed at my head. Seisuke raises his staff up in the air, and just when I was thinking _'cool, I get to see him cast another spell like the one he did in Kiaro'_, he slams it down- hard- on a hooded head and successfully knocks another guy down.

"Oh wow" I mutter in dumbfounded amazement. Never knew a magic staff can be used like that. And so effective too!

"Seisuke, watch out!"

Nanami's yell makes me reflexively turn to her, just right in time to see a dagger flying towards Seisuke. I pushed him away by pure instinct before I even had time to think. Luckily, the blade only scraped my arm.

"Why you…"

I hear a thud as loud as the thunders roaring in the stormy sky as Nanami's fist landed on the poor guy's face. Even though I can't see it beneath the hood, I could tell simply by the sound that she made a permanent damage on the poor thing. Jowy's impressed whistle and the way Seisuke's jaw dropped told me they agree.

"Looks like that's the last of them" Nanami huffs, cracking her knuckles. She cocks her head to the side upon noticing our eyes were all on her. "What?"

"At any rate," Jowy clears his throat "with the weather as it is, we have no choice but to spend the night at the inn. Let's continue on our journey first thing tomorrow morning, hopefully by then this storm's over."

We all head back to Coronet Town, but after just a few steps, the next thing I know is I'm down on my knees. Jowy rushes to my side. "Kenji? What's wrong, did you trip?"

I wonder that myself too. Try to stand up. I… can't?

"Want to hold on to me?" Jowy reaches out his right hand. I grab it, but my right leg wouldn't budge. Neither would my left leg.

"Kenji?" Jowy frowns.

"Lord Kenji, did you get hurt earlier?" Seisuke asks me, I can hear panic in his voice.

"No, I'm okay, it was just a scratch. But my legs."

"We better take you back to Dr. Huan right away. You've been poisoned. The current empire's military uses poisoned blades and arrows. It spreads through your body fast, and if we don't give you the antidote, in just a few hours it will paralyze your entire body… including your heart."

"Nanami, quick! The Blinking Mirror! We need to get Kenji back to the castle at once."

As Nanami rummages through her bag, Jowy crouches down in front of me. He beckons me to put my arms around his shoulders and get on his back. "Hop on."

"Found it!" Nanami pulls the magic item Viki gave us that can teleport us right back to Orange Castle from anywhere in the world in a blink, just as its name suggests. "Here we go!"

-x-

Back at Dr. Huan's infirmary, Seisuke doesn't waste a second to tell the doctor what kind of poison was used. Just from hearing the description, Dr. Huan scurries to his bookshelf and pulls out a couple of books. He opens the first one halfway through, flips through a few pages and leaves it open there, then moves on the the second- much bigger book- to look at what seems to be at the last few pages. With the big pictures I can see from where I'm sitting on the bed, it looks like some kind of plant encyclopedia.

"I thought so. To make the antidote, we'll need something that, unfortunately, I don't have at the moment." Dr. Huan frowns.

"What is it? Where can we find it?" Jowy asks.

"Mermaid's Hair"

Seeing our dumbfounded faces, Dr. Huan continues without batting an eye. He continues to explain with an eager tone, and he looks really cool whenever he's in teacher mode like this. Even if he's in his pyjamas and all. Mentally kicking myself, I apologize in my head 'Oh Doc, I'm really sorry for disturbing you in the middle of the night'.

"It's an underwater plant with long, curly golden leaves that our ancestors used to say looks like a mermaid's hair. Hence, the name." Dr. Hunan holds the humongous book upright, which looks almost as if it's half his size, and shows us the picture. "It can only be found at the very center of the lake, and that's one of the deeper parts."

"Got it" Jowy turns to me and bumps his forehead on mine, looking at me straight in the eye as he tells me "I'll be back as soon as I can. I won't let anything happen to you." He then grabs his coat and puts it on. "I'll be back."

"Hey, wait. What do you mean?!" Nanami interrogates Jowy as he heads out the door. "Jowy, where are you going!"

"To the lake!"

When Jowy opens the door, it's only then that we realize what looks like the entire population of Orange Castle is right outside the infirmary- all just wearing a sweater over what obviously are their pyjamas underneath. Maybe because they heard what Jowy said, they parted in the middle as if giving way for him to go. Jowy gratefully made his way and quickly disappeared into the hall.

Seeing there was no other way but to explain what was going on, Shu walks in first. "As soon as they heard about what happened, everyone- including the children and elderly- braved the storm late into the night just to come by and see what was going on."

"News sure travels fast, especially when it concerns someone as important to everyone as you, lord Kenji." Apple added.

"I see…"

"Anyway, you need to rest. Save your energy so your body can fight the toxin on its own, at least until the antidote is made. I'll do my best to make sure no one disturbs you." Shu pats my head. His touch is so gentle and warm.

"Thanks, Shu. Please tell everyone Jowy said he'll come back right away, so I'll be okay for sure."

It's been a couple of hours, and Jowy's still not back. My throat is starting to feel dry, so I reach for the glass of water on the bedside table. However, just as I'm pulling it closer to me, I drop the glass, making everyone left in the infirmary turn to me.

"Don't worry about it," Nanami picks up the shards. "You wanted water right? I'll just throw these out and I'll get another one for you."

With Nanami busy looking after me, Dr. Huan and Seisuke working on the antidote, I couldn't help but feel a little unhelpful. I lean back on the pillow Jowy fixed behind me, and can only wriggle myself to adjust to as comfortable a position as I can.

Soon Nanami comes back with another glass of water and that's when she eventually realizes I could no longer move my arms too. She puts the glass close to my mouth so I can drink. I hungrily gulp it down, but each time I swallow, it feels like I need more and more force.

And then finally, I start to feel my chest getting heavy. As time passes, it gradually becomes more difficult to breathe. My vision is blurring, and shortly after it fades to black.

Just then, I feel something touch my lips and blow air into me. One breath, two breaths. And vaguely, I start to feel something in my chest… as if someone is pushing it down to keep my heart pumping.

And as if my senses are starting to come back bit by bit, the breathing and the pushes are followed by a voice.

It's Jowy's voice.

"If you can't breathe by yourself, I'll breathe for you"

I feel air coming into my mouth agan.

"If your heart can't beat, I'll make it pump for you"

I feel that dull pressure in my chest again.

"Just stay with me, Kenji. Dammit, stay with me!"

"It's done." I hear another voice- Dr. Huan's- before I feel something cold and bitter touch my tongue. "Please swallow it."

Force myself to make my throat work, and am able to take it in in one big, laborious gulp.

Slowly, I can feel as if something that weighed a few tons that had been wrapped very tightly around my chest was removed. I start gasping for breath until I can slowly but surely breathe more normally. It's taking a while, but I can also start to feel my limbs now. When I open my eyes, the first thing I see is Jowy on top of me, drenched from head to toe.

"Welcome back, Kenji" He cups my face. "Had me worried for a second there, idiot."

I slept through the rest of the night after that, so I felt completely fine in the morning. However, Dr. Huan wanted to monitor my condition for at least 24 hours before letting me out of the infirmary, there goes my plan to head out first thing in the morning. Looking out the window, it's so nice outside. It looks like the storm had finally passed.

At sundown, after handling much opposition from the concerned villagers who wanted me to rest a bit longer, and trying to convince Shu and Dr. Huan that I'm okay, we finally got the (very reluctant) go signal to get on with our journey. Déjà vu, here I am again at the docks, boarding our little ship, but this time, it's not just Shu, Victor, Flik and Leona seeing us off, but the entire Orange Castle.

Everyone had wanted to give us food and presents, and we had to refuse so many of them for safety reasons as we can't fit them all into the ship without sinking right here on the port. The eldest of the villagers came up to us and gave us all candy. "Come back safely, lord Kenji, Nanami… and you too, Jowy."

Jowy looks up from his gaze that had been fixed on the floor, astonished.

"We'll be waiting for you to come back home" The gentle elder beamed sweetly, then he turns to Seisuke too, adding "Please come again, you're always welcome Seisuke-kun"

"Yes, we'll be back" Jowy grinned back.

"Thank you" Seisuke replies.

As we board the boat, we take one last look at everyone on the dock, cheerfully waving at us. Going away from a place we've grown fond of always leaves a tinge of sadness in our hearts. But knowing we can come back there any time replaces that feeling with anticipation as we look forward to the time we can see everyone again.

To be continued…

* * *

**A/N**: Two years (weeps). I have no excuse.


End file.
